For Malaysia
7 years ago
Monday, November 5, 2012
A day
I drove myself, to a shopping mall,
pondering of what to eat.
Too many choice, but I'm not rich,
thus the bakery, oven perfections, here I come!
Signature Bun in hand, I sat myself,
near to the glass pane.
I, am for, one loner, who enjoys observing.
Being alone, ain't that bad,
needless to think, of issues to converse.
Sipping my tea, I looked around.
How happy a child is, to get an ice cream;
How a couple ignore everyone's gaze,
entrance only by each other's presence;
How a group of boys, looked away immediately,
when I caught them staring;
How this man walks, as if in a rush for time;
How many times, did I see the guard yawn,
looking at his watch every now and then,
awaiting the comfort after a long day of standing.
I finally finish my tea, ready to go,
for I too, am already thinking of my bed.
A slow drive home, destination reached.
Oh my bed, sweet lovely bed.
I plopped myself on my cloud like Odyssey,
closed my eyes.
Tick, tock, tick, tock.
Alas, I reopened my eyes,
for I could not sleep.
This the result, of taking one full cup of caffeine,
after the sun had slept,
Insomnia loves me so.
Yet again,
you shall see a walking zombie in school the next day :)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
A lost
Asking for too much, countless ruining, it makes us sad,
pointless hoping, leading to nothing.
All the smiles, returned with frowns.
How must that have felt, if you were the one given the grimace.
Questioning, what triggered the offence, that flared unhidden in the eyes?
Looking deep into your soul, with that fiery blaze,
boring a hole, stealing the breathe,
leaving you, a mere lifeless container.
While the one with the disinterested expression,
gains nothing, but creating another sad being,
and further deepens the pain of both.
Countless tears, soaked the emotions, taking control.
Your in a lost, confuse, hurt.
Where has the trust gone,the love? wondering from dusk till dawn,
unable to get an answer.
Confrontation, a decision made to solve,
when the other speaks up, the answer sastifying,
but devastating to the existence.
another relationship, gone, lost in the horizons
unable to move forward or back,
stuck... for what seems like forever.
Perhaps, with time,
wounds that bled crimson, will be healed.
The inevitable scars, clearly showned,
unable to be ridden off.
That's the lesson, life has to offer,
a path, most go through,
learning a bitter lesson, which gives new confidence
and something... you could never forget.
Your first great lost.
pointless hoping, leading to nothing.
All the smiles, returned with frowns.
How must that have felt, if you were the one given the grimace.
Questioning, what triggered the offence, that flared unhidden in the eyes?
Looking deep into your soul, with that fiery blaze,
boring a hole, stealing the breathe,
leaving you, a mere lifeless container.
While the one with the disinterested expression,
gains nothing, but creating another sad being,
and further deepens the pain of both.
Countless tears, soaked the emotions, taking control.
Your in a lost, confuse, hurt.
Where has the trust gone,the love? wondering from dusk till dawn,
unable to get an answer.
Confrontation, a decision made to solve,
when the other speaks up, the answer sastifying,
but devastating to the existence.
another relationship, gone, lost in the horizons
unable to move forward or back,
stuck... for what seems like forever.
Perhaps, with time,
wounds that bled crimson, will be healed.
The inevitable scars, clearly showned,
unable to be ridden off.
That's the lesson, life has to offer,
a path, most go through,
learning a bitter lesson, which gives new confidence
and something... you could never forget.
Your first great lost.
Friday, September 23, 2011
2011 till now
I din't expect much out of this year.
I thought I would have my freedom at last, I was wrong.
I thought I could finally pursue my interest in colleges, wrong again.
I thought I would change for the better, Maybe a little right.
Yes, I din't get to go to the college I wanted. Not because I wasn't qualified, my Mom was against it, she say i was young and stuff. Not knowing what I want yet.
She is SO 100% guranteed that I would regret if I had went in that college and take up Illustration. 'FORM 6 AH GAL, Its so important!' thats what I always heard, i rolled my eyes everytime.
She went through the extent of pursuading all the uncle aunties i know to advice me to enter form 6. OH COME ON! IS THIS YOUR LIFE?
And so, after much advises, pursuadings, i decided to screw myself into damnation.
Entering FORM 6
I literally wasted the first 5 months? rotting at home, chatting, playing games, chilling out and stuff.. oh and i found myself a boyfriend. That is, while waiting for the form 6 offer letter.
And then, its finally time, stepping into SCHOOL.. ONCE AGAIN -SIGH-
everything was new, just to get out of form 6 with a nice cert, i decided to go for the not so tough subjects, dropping accounts for English Lit, dropping Maths for Perniagaan. HAHA, how smart of me, i thought. BUT NO, almost EVERYTHING in Form 6 is tough. Darn it. LOL
ever since stepping into form 6, I was depress MANY A TIMES, oh yeah, I duno wads wrong with me, but i Joined prefects. I think a wire in my brain has malfunction.
I brought more busy scheldues to myself. oh my..
and then, of course, met a couple of new friends, and some old ones. wouldn't say I m perfect, but most of them here, I just don't see them much of a true friend type. So I decided not to get close to any. Well thats just me, i prefer true friends to friends that always cling around you for popularity but dump you when you're officially out season-
Sometimes when my mom yells at me to study, i had the nerve to say this.
'Don't wanna~ not interested' and i add a smiley face in.
I know this annoys my mom VERY much. and some how I like it.
Maybe bcuz I always think her as the one who forced me into form 6 and gave me all these needless depressions,(she doesn't know i suffer from them)
I cry alone all the time, so nobody knows.
There was just this one time where I accidentally let it slip.
My dad was fetching me home from Ballet. Don't know why, depression took over.
I looked away from him and stared out. My tears were rolling down. But i Din't make a sound. hoping that he would not notice, and he din't say a thing. But i was quite sure he saw my tears. stupid reflection!
I tend to get moody all of a sudden. and I think this scares my boyfriend alot. Haha.
Somehow I just think he ain't mature enough yet.
I know my thinking is a little too mature, cuz thats wad everyone who really knows me said.
So I sometimes hate it when he's a little too childish in thinking.
Well, i am too lazy to type out EVERYTHING. it would take me weeks.
all i know is another exam is coming up in another 2 weeks time.
and being a quite.. 'want face girl' i don't like getting failing grades and i push myself to midnight burning for average grades, or higher.
so i shall say bye for now. -sigh-
I love my Boyfriend. well nobody's perfect. can't expect him to be perfect. But I really hope he will start studying soon. I don't know what he wants to do. I tried talking bout it already, but it seems like he's avoiding it everytime. So i stop asking, its almost a year now, i see no progress.. and I m starting to think.. maybe.. well nevermind. gotta stop writing, Its already 2 am. Bye Blog
I thought I would have my freedom at last, I was wrong.
I thought I could finally pursue my interest in colleges, wrong again.
I thought I would change for the better, Maybe a little right.
Yes, I din't get to go to the college I wanted. Not because I wasn't qualified, my Mom was against it, she say i was young and stuff. Not knowing what I want yet.
She is SO 100% guranteed that I would regret if I had went in that college and take up Illustration. 'FORM 6 AH GAL, Its so important!' thats what I always heard, i rolled my eyes everytime.
She went through the extent of pursuading all the uncle aunties i know to advice me to enter form 6. OH COME ON! IS THIS YOUR LIFE?
And so, after much advises, pursuadings, i decided to screw myself into damnation.
Entering FORM 6
I literally wasted the first 5 months? rotting at home, chatting, playing games, chilling out and stuff.. oh and i found myself a boyfriend. That is, while waiting for the form 6 offer letter.
And then, its finally time, stepping into SCHOOL.. ONCE AGAIN -SIGH-
everything was new, just to get out of form 6 with a nice cert, i decided to go for the not so tough subjects, dropping accounts for English Lit, dropping Maths for Perniagaan. HAHA, how smart of me, i thought. BUT NO, almost EVERYTHING in Form 6 is tough. Darn it. LOL
ever since stepping into form 6, I was depress MANY A TIMES, oh yeah, I duno wads wrong with me, but i Joined prefects. I think a wire in my brain has malfunction.
I brought more busy scheldues to myself. oh my..
and then, of course, met a couple of new friends, and some old ones. wouldn't say I m perfect, but most of them here, I just don't see them much of a true friend type. So I decided not to get close to any. Well thats just me, i prefer true friends to friends that always cling around you for popularity but dump you when you're officially out season-
Sometimes when my mom yells at me to study, i had the nerve to say this.
'Don't wanna~ not interested' and i add a smiley face in.
I know this annoys my mom VERY much. and some how I like it.
Maybe bcuz I always think her as the one who forced me into form 6 and gave me all these needless depressions,(she doesn't know i suffer from them)
I cry alone all the time, so nobody knows.
There was just this one time where I accidentally let it slip.
My dad was fetching me home from Ballet. Don't know why, depression took over.
I looked away from him and stared out. My tears were rolling down. But i Din't make a sound. hoping that he would not notice, and he din't say a thing. But i was quite sure he saw my tears. stupid reflection!
I tend to get moody all of a sudden. and I think this scares my boyfriend alot. Haha.
Somehow I just think he ain't mature enough yet.
I know my thinking is a little too mature, cuz thats wad everyone who really knows me said.
So I sometimes hate it when he's a little too childish in thinking.
Well, i am too lazy to type out EVERYTHING. it would take me weeks.
all i know is another exam is coming up in another 2 weeks time.
and being a quite.. 'want face girl' i don't like getting failing grades and i push myself to midnight burning for average grades, or higher.
so i shall say bye for now. -sigh-
I love my Boyfriend. well nobody's perfect. can't expect him to be perfect. But I really hope he will start studying soon. I don't know what he wants to do. I tried talking bout it already, but it seems like he's avoiding it everytime. So i stop asking, its almost a year now, i see no progress.. and I m starting to think.. maybe.. well nevermind. gotta stop writing, Its already 2 am. Bye Blog
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Morning
yeah yeah, going out again
ouch ouch, my leg muscles hurt so much after the sprinting baton practice yesterday
i have to use my hands to carry one leg out from the car, then the other..
yeah yeah, going out again
ouch ouch, my leg muscles hurt so much after the sprinting baton practice yesterday
i have to use my hands to carry one leg out from the car, then the other..
counting to myself.. one two, LIFT UP, AND OUTT
PAIN PAIN PAIN T.T.....
walking is Worse. the pain is like having muscla cramps ==....
i survived the morning XD
Afternoon
"dad... what are we eating for lunch?"
--no answer--
=5 minutes later=
"mom.. what are we having for lunch?"
"ask ur dad..."
"dad what are we eating for lunch?"
"dad what are we eating for lunch?"
"ask ur grandpa what he wants"
"......."
"......."
=2 hours later=
went to subang parade
buy knee and ankle guard.
=1 hour later=
i m insane.. i m going for another sprinting training at MPSJ
guess wad.. i couldn't even jog 2 rounds-.-
1 round and the pain was unbearable
Night
Breathe in...
Breathe out...
Breathe in...
*smack*.
"keep quiet, i have exam next week!" says brother
"i m praticing yoga here! oh i loss count..."
Breathe in...
Breathe out...
Breathe in...
*smack*.
"keep quiet, i have exam next week!" says brother
"i m praticing yoga here! oh i loss count..."
woot
wao... i m back .. AGAIN haha~~~
can't online that much now, maybe only on fri, sat n sunday nights :D
FORM 5 is hell! that's a gurantee~
i don't have the mood to study but gosh..
i only have like 7 months left??
till SPM that is.. not my death bed =X
kinda NOT enjoying life right now
but hey, a life without suffering is impossible.
So yea, Smile more, dun get angry easily and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ok i m juz being random as i don't know what to say, byeeeee~~~
can't online that much now, maybe only on fri, sat n sunday nights :D
FORM 5 is hell! that's a gurantee~
i don't have the mood to study but gosh..
i only have like 7 months left??
till SPM that is.. not my death bed =X
kinda NOT enjoying life right now
but hey, a life without suffering is impossible.
So yea, Smile more, dun get angry easily and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ok i m juz being random as i don't know what to say, byeeeee~~~
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