Precious Life, Enjoy!

A lost

2012-02-04T10:06:00.000-08:00

Asking for too much, countless ruining, it makes us sad,
pointless hoping, leading to nothing.
All the smiles, returned with frowns.
How must that have felt, if you were the one given the grimace.
Questioning, what triggered the offence, that flared unhidden in the eyes?
Looking deep into your soul, with that fiery blaze,
boring a hole, stealing the breathe,
leaving you, a mere lifeless container.
While the one with the disinterested expression,
gains nothing, but creating another sad being,
and further deepens the pain of both.
Countless tears, soaked the emotions, taking control.
Your in a lost, confuse, hurt.
Where has the trust gone,the love? wondering from dusk till dawn,
unable to get an answer.
Confrontation, a decision made to solve,
when the other speaks up, the answer sastifying,
but devastating to the existence.
another relationship, gone, lost in the horizons
unable to move forward or back,
stuck... for what seems like forever.
Perhaps, with time,
wounds that bled crimson, will be healed.
The inevitable scars, clearly showned,
unable to be ridden off.
That's the lesson, life has to offer,
a path, most go through,
learning a bitter lesson, which gives new confidence
and something... you could never forget.
Your first great lost.

2011 till now

2011-09-23T10:24:00.000-07:00

I din't expect much out of this year.
I thought I would have my freedom at last, I was wrong.
I thought I could finally pursue my interest in colleges, wrong again.
I thought I would change for the better, Maybe a little right.
Yes, I din't get to go to the college I wanted. Not because I wasn't qualified, my Mom was against it, she say i was young and stuff. Not knowing what I want yet.
She is SO 100% guranteed that I would regret if I had went in that college and take up Illustration. 'FORM 6 AH GAL, Its so important!' thats what I always heard, i rolled my eyes everytime.
She went through the extent of pursuading all the uncle aunties i know to advice me to enter form 6. OH COME ON! IS THIS YOUR LIFE?
And so, after much advises, pursuadings, i decided to screw myself into damnation.
Entering FORM 6
I literally wasted the first 5 months? rotting at home, chatting, playing games, chilling out and stuff.. oh and i found myself a boyfriend. That is, while waiting for the form 6 offer letter.
And then, its finally time, stepping into SCHOOL.. ONCE AGAIN -SIGH-
everything was new, just to get out of form 6 with a nice cert, i decided to go for the not so tough subjects, dropping accounts for English Lit, dropping Maths for Perniagaan. HAHA, how smart of me, i thought. BUT NO, almost EVERYTHING in Form 6 is tough. Darn it. LOL
ever since stepping into form 6, I was depress MANY A TIMES, oh yeah, I duno wads wrong with me, but i Joined prefects. I think a wire in my brain has malfunction.
I brought more busy scheldues to myself. oh my..
and then, of course, met a couple of new friends, and some old ones. wouldn't say I m perfect, but most of them here, I just don't see them much of a true friend type. So I decided not to get close to any. Well thats just me, i prefer true friends to friends that always cling around you for popularity but dump you when you're officially out season-
Sometimes when my mom yells at me to study, i had the nerve to say this.
'Don't wanna~ not interested' and i add a smiley face in.
I know this annoys my mom VERY much. and some how I like it.
Maybe bcuz I always think her as the one who forced me into form 6 and gave me all these needless depressions,(she doesn't know i suffer from them)
I cry alone all the time, so nobody knows.
There was just this one time where I accidentally let it slip.
My dad was fetching me home from Ballet. Don't know why, depression took over.
I looked away from him and stared out. My tears were rolling down. But i Din't make a sound. hoping that he would not notice, and he din't say a thing. But i was quite sure he saw my tears. stupid reflection!
I tend to get moody all of a sudden. and I think this scares my boyfriend alot. Haha.
Somehow I just think he ain't mature enough yet.
I know my thinking is a little too mature, cuz thats wad everyone who really knows me said.
So I sometimes hate it when he's a little too childish in thinking.
Well, i am too lazy to type out EVERYTHING. it would take me weeks.
all i know is another exam is coming up in another 2 weeks time.
and being a quite.. 'want face girl' i don't like getting failing grades and i push myself to midnight burning for average grades, or higher.
so i shall say bye for now. -sigh-
I love my Boyfriend. well nobody's perfect. can't expect him to be perfect. But I really hope he will start studying soon. I don't know what he wants to do. I tried talking bout it already, but it seems like he's avoiding it everytime. So i stop asking, its almost a year now, i see no progress.. and I m starting to think.. maybe.. well nevermind. gotta stop writing, Its already 2 am. Bye Blog

bla

2011-02-06T22:15:00.000-08:00

i wish i could juz look straight into your eyes like right now. Love you lots

2010-04-20T09:24:00.000-07:00

Have a blast during the class party XD that was... on friday 18th April

my ballet exam is coming nearer ...

homework in schools are crushing me till my last breathe...

i don't have the tiniest mood for studying..-.-

2010-04-11T08:36:00.000-07:00

Morning
yeah yeah, going out again
ouch ouch, my leg muscles hurt so much after the sprinting baton practice yesterday
i have to use my hands to carry one leg out from the car, then the other..

counting to myself.. one two, LIFT UP, AND OUTT

PAIN PAIN PAIN T.T.....

walking is Worse. the pain is like having muscla cramps ==....

i survived the morning XD

Afternoon

"dad... what are we eating for lunch?"

--no answer--

=5 minutes later=

"mom.. what are we having for lunch?"

"ask ur dad..."
"dad what are we eating for lunch?"

"ask ur grandpa what he wants"
"......."

=2 hours later=

went to subang parade

buy knee and ankle guard.

=1 hour later=

i m insane.. i m going for another sprinting training at MPSJ

guess wad.. i couldn't even jog 2 rounds-.-

1 round and the pain was unbearable

Night
Breathe in...
Breathe out...
Breathe in...
*smack*.
"keep quiet, i have exam next week!" says brother
"i m praticing yoga here! oh i loss count..."

woot

2010-04-11T07:39:00.000-07:00

wao... i m back .. AGAIN haha~~~
can't online that much now, maybe only on fri, sat n sunday nights :D
FORM 5 is hell! that's a gurantee~
i don't have the mood to study but gosh..
i only have like 7 months left??
till SPM that is.. not my death bed =X
kinda NOT enjoying life right now
but hey, a life without suffering is impossible.
So yea, Smile more, dun get angry easily and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
ok i m juz being random as i don't know what to say, byeeeee~~~

October Disaster

2009-10-28T18:28:00.000-07:00

My exams are over, one thing to be happy.

My dad set password on my account to rob me of freedom to access to internet.

but then he gave me after exam

My mom goes on about why I don't start studying

Teacher Stephenie suddenly calls in to ask me to choreograph a dance for her in 4 days.

Have to go to numerous dance practices because I am the choreographer.

I got really sick with cough, sore throat, flu.

My cat got really sick, i have to take care of him.

My mom picked up a kitten abandon by people.. i have to look after it

and just when i am having fun with maple,

my dad change my account to a guest account which unable me to gain access to any on9 game.

=.= and after i write this i still have another dance practice to go..

I don't have enough sleep,

worst still

I FLUNG my add maths, by 3 bloody marks.

I stop going to school for we already return all our text book and teacher won't we teaching.

My mom goes on about WHAT THE HELL are the school teachers doing.

I did her chores for her,

but if i left out one,

she will say I am useless, duno how help in the house , only know how to play play play.

So yea. Someone kill me now please.

I can't die, but I am already half dead of stress.

my sweet 16

2009-10-23T03:24:00.000-07:00

so yeah, i had a really great day

Great presents, uncountable wishes, and hugs.

Have a wonderful dinner with my family,

My BFF's treated me to sakae sushi~

A big thx to all of you who made my birthday a beautiful day. ^_^

2009-10-19T08:28:00.000-07:00

I use to just look at a corner.

but i knew I have fall for you.

Don't get me wrong.

I don't want me liking you to ruin our good friendship.

I am in a dilemma.

Love you. But may be you don't

Wanna tell you, but scared of rejection.

So, I will just pin this feelings to myself

and hope I will get it over soon .. :]

October 14th

2009-10-14T07:56:00.000-07:00

Wellllll.... there are two more days of exams to go xD

and. physics and bio paper 2 are back OMFG.!

lucky for me. got 50+ marks hahahaha

guranteed a non failing paper :)

but i have a feeling i shall flung my maths paper=.=

i dun understand anything at all since then start of school year till now

-_- better still, i used add maths formulae to solve some of it XD

geng ler xD

2009-09-26T01:30:00.001-07:00

quite relieved dat my bff willl be okay.. though she emo-ed

wanna know my schedule today?

7+ wake up

9-11 add maths tuition

11-1 chem tuition

1-3 ballet

x_x

hahahahhaha. i m going insane 8D

2009-09-25T01:59:00.000-07:00

Exams are like...

what? 2 and a half more days. so yeah.

I am TOTALLY freaking out.

What with my mom saying:" Fail one paper and you are so dead"

dam.. guess I am going to get whack and yelled at again for Who Know's HOW long-.-

I have no determination that I can pass this paper's AT ALL

List of papers Bio Chem Physics Add maths Mod maths(yea i suck) Sejarah......

gonna die T_T

wanted to study, BUT I always get distracted

AHHHHHH

EXAMS ARE KILLERS WITH NO SYMPATHIES!

2009-09-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

10 white mice were bisected ytd >.>"

leaving only 1 survivor name

stuart little?

LOL

it's now the class pet and a few ppl are taking turns to take care of it

I am the first xD

no pics, lazy upload ~.~

2009-09-09T07:24:00.000-07:00

HAPPY SWEET SIXTEEN TO ONE OF MY BFFF

WENDY KOH HUI YI <3<3<3<3

and also happy 13th b'day to Sy Yiing's younger sister~~

Happy birthday to both of you~~

may u all be blessed with happiness and peace always~

2009-09-08T05:22:00.000-07:00

Tuesday once again,

the same routine,

came back from school

bath and eat my lunch

get ready for ballet

goes to the usual spot to wait for my ballet teacher to fetch me

and the next thing I know...

4 HOURS of class work.

Dead tired.

I am going to sleep after posting this,

it's only 8.25 p.m,

but who cares, I want MY sleep!

Untitled

2009-09-07T07:47:00.000-07:00

It's almost 11 now, starring into the computer screen typing here,

my mind already flew somewhere else.

Where to exactly?

--> Exams

--> Manga

--> Food

--> Ballet exam

--> My loveable BFF'S

--> maple story, LOL

--> english orale

--> Presentation

--> bisection.. white mice T_T

--> homeworks

-->& etc....... which is so much uncountable things to do

How am I going to survive....

After a year +++

2009-09-07T07:26:00.000-07:00

I don't know what make me come back here after abandoning this blog for more than a year.

May be i was just bored.

And so I am *____* to anounce~

I am back xD

ok, this is dumb.

i should just stop here right now...

byeeeeee

Arise of the Dark Angel

2008-05-05T07:00:00.000-07:00

The last and only light that once shine in my life,
conquered by the strong demonic darkness.
As the darkness lurks into my soul
Hatred & the desire for revenge is the only thing i had in mind.
All the happy and peaceful memories are being erased as the light finally dissapears forever.
I can feel the anger..
I can feel my Dark Side clawing its way out..
Now i am out spreading the Darkness,
those who are enjoying shall be overwhelm with depression when i walked by...
And they will never know what happiness is as long as i am around.
Why you asked?
Because I am a Dark Angel